Tag: job search

Finding home

12241591_10153788546021350_2546363106105606442_n-1It’s been six months since I’ve officially relocated to the UK, and to say it’s been a rollercoaster ride is a slight understatement. I anticipated an adjustment period, considering the fact that I was leaving behind everything familiar and opting for complete immersion into a new home, new environment and new people. But despite having lived in the UK for a few months in the summer of 2012, it was far more destabilising this time around. I think the fact that this move was permanent contributed to that emotion. But six months in, I think I’ve found my centre at last… and the ability to write as if I were a native Brit.

Anxious excitement dominated my first month or two, which makes sense because I was eager to close the gap and be here, but I had no idea what life would be like once I actually moved. That realisation started to seep into my brain toward the end of my second month, beginning of the third. My excitement quickly turned serious when I began looking for work to fill my free time and become a contributing member of society. I began this stage with apprehension, knowing full well how difficult it was finding the right job back in the states after graduation and worrying I’d find a similar struggle here. Now that it’s over with and I’ve found work, I feel pretty confident saying it was easier and quicker to find a job than it was a few years ago, but it certainly felt like a never-ending, soul-crushing experience.

It was about when I’d sent out around twenty job applications and the rejection emails started coming through that I felt myself slipping into a darker mind-set. I swiftly went from “I’m going to get a job!” to “I’m never going to get a job,” which, as you can imagine, wasn’t a fun thought train to ride. For the next few months, I was a wretch to be around (shout out to my amazing husband for putting up with this nonsense!), having slipped deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole with each passing day. I slept for ages and never felt rested when I finally pried myself out of bed, I hardly ate, I very rarely took the time to dress myself or make an effort on my appearance and I started questioning my every decision. But from the outside looking in, I made damn sure that any and all my connections back home and on social media thought I was cheery and enjoying my time off work because I didn’t want anyone to think I was pathetic or wasting away in London – even though that’s exactly how I felt.

I’ve battled depression before, but this was a new level I hadn’t experienced yet. I was so deep in it that it took me a very long time to even notice that I was, in fact, depressed. Coupled with the extreme anxiety and desperation to find work, it was a debilitating tug-of-war that left me utterly empty and defeated. Everything ached all the time despite having hardly moved all day every day, headaches plagued me regularly and I sought refuge under the covers more often than not. Part of the time, I wondered if I was genuinely sick and contemplated visiting my GP, but in hindsight, I now know better. Some days I was able to pull myself out of the fog to send out another job application or two, but eventually it became so much work just to think of positive things to say about myself in a cover letter that I just left it… for weeks at a time.

After a few months, I finally understood what was going on and reached out to my husband to help me not only find positivity, but to fully invest myself in finding a job. Thrilled that I was taking the initiative to make a change, he gave me a new perspective and ideas on how to improve my job search tactics. I’m forever grateful to him for his help, because not only did it give me the boost of encouragement I needed at the right time, it also brought responsive replies from the new jobs I was now applying for. These replies eventually led to interviews where I felt I could finally demonstrate, in person, what I could bring to the table.

An onslaught of rejection emails were replaced with interview opportunities and eventually having to choose between two jobs. What started out as a bleak search turned into a plentiful choice, and the sudden change in my outlook was enthusiastically welcomed. I finally felt like I had purpose again, had my footing balanced and could re-emerge into the world bright-eyed and bushy tailed.

These last six months have served as a harsh reminder that life is better handled with some outside help, and it’s okay to ask for words of comfort when they’ve been depleted from your own arsenal. I’m much happier now even compared to when I first arrived on UK soil. My relationship is stronger than ever, I’ve got a job I enjoy in a brand new industry and I’ve learned how to recognise negative thinking and come out the other side a better person. It wasn’t an easy journey and I don’t hope to repeat it any time in the near future, but I think it was necessary to teach me that I have value even when I don’t feel like I do. Starting your life over at a young age is an intoxicating idea, but it’s certainly not for the faint of heart. I’ve had to remind myself that most people would also struggle with such drastic changes all at once, and I’m not a weaker person because of it. I’m indebted to those who helped me realise my worth during a tough time, and encouraged me to find different ways to make London feel like home. I can confidently say that now, that’s exactly what it feels like. Even if it took me six months to get here. Better late than never, right?

Home is where you make it

Correcting tunnel vision

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Perhaps this is going to sound hypocritical, but not many people can do what I’ve done and be humble about it. I’ve worked my butt off for so very long to achieve what I have, and I’m satisfied. This feeling, right now, is exactly what I hoped I would feel.

– June 1, 2013

It’s easier than you think to lose sight of the important things in life. When I graduated college, I wrote a blog detailing how I felt about my life leading up to that day and what I hoped would be in my future and posted it on Facebook. Only four people liked it and two bothered to comment, but I was still glad I wrote it because it was true to how I felt and I knew I wouldn’t want to forget that feeling. Seven months later, I forgot that feeling until I went to the movies tonight and saw The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. I walked out of that theater feeling completely jazzed about life, about possibilities and about truly making the most of the days I have left on this earth. It forced me to take a hard look at how I’ve been thinking these last few months and how I need to get back on track.

The job market hasn’t been kind to me lately. I’ve made this blatantly obvious, but I’ve also been kicking up a lot of dirt just because I thought it would make me feel better. Although it may help a little, it hasn’t changed my situation.. so I know that means I need to change my attitude. I don’t have the full time job in my field that I wanted right now, but I do have a job. That’s more than some people, and I should really quit griping about it. See? A positive from a negative. The societal pressure to go to college and get a job in your degree of study immediately upon graduation is incredibly intense and, in my opinion, a very skillfully created brainwashing technique to churn out a workforce rapidly. I think college was a good choice for me because I truly enjoy learning, but I know plenty of people who didn’t go to college and are sitting much prettier than I am at the moment! The point is, a lot of us allow this grand plan to get in the way of our own desires and I think that’s why we stray and stress so much. Yes, I want a job, but not at the expense of my psyche, my health or my happiness. I can still be proud of who I am and what I’ve done instead of sulkily skimming through online job applications and shamefully hiding away from inquiring minds. I have not fallen from grace because I don’t have a full time job in communications. Furthermore, I (and so many others) need to stop beating ourselves up for not knowing exactly what we want to do in life. It’s okay not to have a steadfast plan, and feeling uncomfortable means you’re growing.

…But I simply can’t predict how I will feel once I step outside this comfort zone, so the only thing I can do is just.. leap. It’s not a plan and that’s scary, but it’s also liberating.

Confucius said, “it does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.” I’ve never considered myself to be foolish and certainly not a quitter. My end goal is still to find a job I can enjoy more than the one I’m working at now, but I think I need to stop making myself feel guilty because I’m not where I thought I would be. There are plenty of other things that happened in the last year that I didn’t plan for, but they’ve gloriously changed my life for the better. Yes, I still feel like I need help finding the job that’s right for me, but I need to quit obsessing over it. I’ve had a lot of opportunities fall into my lap at a very young age, and this is the first time I’ve had to work so hard to achieve a goal. But you know what? Perseverance is good for us! So while it’s important to remember what it is exactly that we’re looking for and what we want out of life in the grand scheme of things, it’s also important to live in the now and appreciate the little things. For example, I can move anywhere in the world because I have nothing tying me here, I can spend days in a row with friends or family members because I’m fortunate enough to have time off frequently and I can stick to what I want… or change my mind whenever I feel like it! So what do YOU want?

I want to keep learning. Not from books or computers, but from life, people and through experiences. I want excitement and freedom and to always find joy in the simple things. And most importantly, I want to continue to enjoy what I do no matter how long I’m doing it for.

Maybe these aren’t the best conditions or requirements for a specific job. In fact, they’re incredibly broad and vague and I doubt any employer would snatch me up if I said these were the things I was looking for in a job. 14-year-old Tanya would be so disappointed in me now for changing the plan. But the truth is, having a plan may be responsible.. but straying from the plan and going after what will make you feel best is the most fulfilling. I don’t want to follow the rules or the expectations that others have set for me because that’s not what will make my life fulfilling. So although I don’t yet have that “perfect” job I hoped I would be working by now, I know I’m going to get there. And when I do, it won’t even feel like work.

So until then, I’m going to follow my heart and continue to learn from experience. And even though I’m still scared out of my wits and worried about where this will all take me, I’m confident that I’m going where I need to go and those who matter will be with me and support me throughout the journey.

This moment is the best moment. You can go anywhere, be anything and do anything you want. The choices are daunting and sometimes worrisome, but there’s one beautiful loophole: if you don’t like where your path has taken you, you can choose a different route just as easily.

New angles

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Rejection emails are the worst. Especially the vague, standard, sometimes automated emails that simply add to the suspicion that even if you are truly enthusiastic and well equipped for a job, you don’t matter unless you can prove it on paper. Passion is an asset that employers should seek out, but it appears that more and more companies have values elsewhere. I applied for an entry-level social media position at New York Habitat because I felt passionately about the work the company does, I knew it was a job I would enjoy and I wholeheartedly felt I possessed all of the qualities – both in my personality and my knowledge within the field of work – to perform well and quite frankly, make improvements. The millennial  generation is one that is not only eager to learn and make their mark in this world, but has also grown up learning to use improving technology to their advantage. Many current job listings in marketing, for example, are advertising positions that seek 5+ years experience in digital marketing when digital marketing only just became an effective form of marketing within the last few years. Therefore, how can companies use an experience level like this as a prerequisite when it’s literally impossible to possess? It makes more sense to hire some hot-shot recent graduate who has been effectively using digital marketing nonstop for the last few years, who is constantly looking for new ideas and better ways to make an impact because that’s exactly what they’ve known to do throughout their young lives. Or maybe I’m wrong. Maybe a middle-aged individual who learned marketing in the 80s deserves the position. I’m not saying recent graduates should always prevail when it comes to new hires, but in certain fields, it makes sense. What do you think?

I’ve read a whole bunch of articles and blogs that give advice to recent graduates about how to snag a job. I’ve read them, I’ve nodded and agreed that I possess the main qualities employers look for, and yet here I still sit– skimming through automated rejection emails with no way to find out why my application didn’t meet the company’s “needs.” As mentioned in my previous blog, I’m willing to do whatever it takes to show that I deserve a job in my field that I can enjoy. Within 24 hours of posting, “What works,” more than 240 individuals across the globe read my blog. Not only that, but people I don’t even know personally were sharing the link on social media, reaching out to the company I wanted to work for and telling them that I deserved an interview. Not only is that humbling, but the fact that these people were basing this belief merely on the fact that they could see my unique passion via blog post surely must mean a lot, right? So here’s my question: What am I doing wrong?

I’m aware that the job market sucks for recent graduates. Nevertheless, I don’t want to use this as an excuse for why I can’t seem to get a job doing something I’m qualified for and can honestly enjoy. If it’s something that is going to dominate the majority of our waking lives, we shouldn’t compromise for it. Simple as that.

Since my first unique attempt at getting an employer’s attention didn’t go to plan, I’m going to augment it a tad. So here is my open cover letter to any employer or recruiter looking for a new hire, or for any individual who wishes to aid in my job search. Feel free to share this blog with social media – Tweet, Facebook, share on LinkedIn or Google+, pin on Pintrest – whatever! Operation Find Tanya A Job has broadened its goal and I need YOUR help! Tell the world I want to work and that recent graduates deserve a fair shot! If you have any helpful advice or critiques, shoot me an email at tparker259@yahoo.com. Here’s what I’ve been up to for the last few years (TanyaParkerResumeOH), and here’s my no-nonsense general cover letter (TanyaParkerCL). Pass it on!

Social media sparks a revelation that we, the people, have a voice, and through the democratization of content and ideas we can once again unite around common passions, inspire movements, and ignite change.