Tag: career

To smell the flowers

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It’s been a funny few months. I say ‘funny’, but I don’t mean ‘haha’ funny. More like a peculiar, confusing funny. The ‘I’ll laugh otherwise I’d cry’ kind of funny, although I’ve still admittedly shed quite the volume of tears over the past few months (though some that know me would say this isn’t necessarily unusual for me). The point is, I’ve run the gamut of emotions in a condensed amount of time, and it’s left me feeling really weird lately. An emotion I can’t quite pinpoint. How annoying. 

It’s been understandably difficult dealing with my husband’s evolving medical issues, though I can say after more than 6 years of relentless, terrifying situations, I genuinely feel like we face these issues with much more pragmatic attitudes than ever before. It never stops being terrifying and emotional, but I’m immensely proud of the way we’ve faced recent events and pushed ahead with logic. Though we’d give anything (literally anything!) not to have to deal with this crap, in a twisted way, I’m grateful that we, as individuals and as a pair, have become better versions of ourselves off the back of what we’ve experienced. Just the fact that I can type this now shows that I’ve grown a lot as a person – that I can take a step back from the chaos and analyse it logically. And better yet, that I can admit that there’s any glimmer of a silver lining in the shitty cards we’ve been dealt in life shows how far I’ve come. Every cloud, eh?

As a quick update for those following this insane medical journey: we’ve found a private neurologist in the last few months who my husband describes as ‘the best doctor’ he’s ever had. And considering his medical history, you can be damn sure he’s seen plenty, so this judgment points to good things. The doctor treats us like human beings (gasp!), has a sensible approach to health backed by science (not always a guarantee these days) and genuinely seems to want to help. This is the first time we’ve not felt like lepers in a doctor’s office. It’s still early days in my husband’s current treatment, but we’ve got a course of action… and then several other courses of action planned should the first one not pan out. So in short: we’re happy and optimistic – something we weren’t feeling at the start of the year. Fingers crossed the trajectory continues this way.

Whilst all this was going on in the background, as is usual fashion for me, a tornado was wreaking havoc in other parts of my life too. I’m still waiting for the reality TV crew to jump out from their hiding spots, but until then…

The company I work for went through some major internal structural changes recently that left my entire team facing redundancy. It happened very quickly – we were told our roles were being made redundant, proposed new positions were explained, those who wanted to stay had to interview for these very few new open roles, then we were told if we were successful or if we were out the door. All within 30 days. As you can imagine, this was incredibly stressful and emotional. I went through every stage of grief, no lie, and I for sure had severe moments of ‘why now, why me?!’. Nevertheless, I pushed through the best I could, and I attribute that both to the strength I’ve found in past life experiences, as well as to the people who helped prop me up and cheer me on throughout the process. Though I’m grateful I landed a new role at the company I love so much, I’m simultaneously grieving the loss of many fabulous colleagues and friends. It’s a complicated time, gang.

I went on a much-needed holiday, then came home and immediately fell very ill for a very long time. I faced conflicts with people I love. I made distant future plans knowing life could change by then. I went to the doctor for myself – twice! I’ve been let down. I’ve been surprised. I’ve been socially awkward and shockingly social.

These last few months have forced me to think about my own wants and needs much more critically, and to make very hard decisions quickly. I’m not a fan of making quick decisions on a normal day, so it’s been particularly difficult of late. I’ve had way too many anxiety attacks to count, but whilst they’ve been frequent, they’ve been brief. I’m slowly learning how to regularly claw my way out of these moments (with obvious external help from those around during an episode – thank you!), and so I say again: every cloud.

I’ve made regular use of the ‘block’, ‘unfriend’ and ‘hide’ functions on social media platforms, protecting myself from toxic people who trigger me. I thought this would be hard to do – I don’t like the aggressive feeling of doing this – but I can honestly say that it’s helped me so much more than I could’ve expected. I’ve also made use of the word ‘no’. Little miss ‘too-afraid-to-disappoint-people’ and ‘gives-everyone-10-billion-second-chances’ has given firm nos to negative influences who’ve tried to reach out. Who am I?! I won’t say this was easy to do in the moment, but after doing it once and realising I was better off for it, I find myself becoming much more comfortable looking after myself and not feeling guilty for doing it. Guess this is growing up, ya’ll!

I don’t think I’m feeling optimistic or particularly positive, but the main thing is that I’m trying to. It’s taken me many, many years, but I now feel like it’s okay to put myself first. This doesn’t mean that I care less about anyone else, but rather I care so much that I want to ensure I’m putting the best version of myself forward first. Not the tired, broken down version I previously offered. I’m not saying I’m killing the game over here – I still have bad days where I just can’t get a grip on my anxiety and collapse into a ball of erratic, irrational emotions. But I can say I don’t feel like a failure on these days anymore. I am allowed to feel broken. I am allowed to be angry and resentful about the cards I’ve been dealt. I’m allowed to have ‘woe is me’ days. But above all this, I know I’m allowed to be happy and continue to seek happiness. I’m allowed to change my mind and my mood. I’m allowed to be! It’s crazy that I’m only just now coming to this realisation, but I’m very glad I did.

And now, I think I’ll take some time to stop and smell the flowers. It’s a crazy life, folks. But there’s always a little beauty to see. You just gotta know where to look for it.

(From) Whence I came.

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As time ticks along, I find myself constantly thinking what I may be doing if I weren’t where I am now. And mostly, I guess I’m just trying to figure out if I miss my American life. Not to say I’m not happy with the choices I’ve made to lead me to this day, but I think it may be human nature to simply wonder “what if?”

As news kicks up in Cleveland, putting my beloved city back in the spotlight for positive reasons, I can’t help but wish I were still around to experience some of it first-hand. Maybe not so much the upcoming RNC, as it certainly poses a lot of logistical obstacles downtown that I’m quite happy to be away from, but I wish I could be in the thick of the atmosphere in general. I desperately miss watching Cavs games, especially now that they’re in the finals and I can’t follow along at 2am on work nights. I also miss having people around to talk about the games because, annoyingly, the NBA isn’t a hot topic over here! I miss wandering the streets downtown, going out with the masses on the weekends and I miss the greenery in the surrounding suburbs. And the lake. Boy do I miss seeing that beaut. Don’t get me wrong – I love London and all it has to offer, but it’s lacking that familiarity and comfort I think I had in Ohio. Perhaps that’s something that will come to me in time.

In work, I surprisingly find myself jealous of my ex-co-workers back at the TV station. When I first left, I was happy to dive into a new industry and try something else out. The depressing side of news photography was heavily weighing on me, and I didn’t want a jaded worldview so young. But now that I’m on the outside looking in, I actually wish I had that seriously heavy camera and tripod to carry around with me every day again. I loved being the first to learn about things, and I got to meet some really awesome people in my short time in news. I can’t help but wonder if I had stuck with it, what else could I have experienced? But such is life, right?

My new job is equally fun, but in different ways. I’ve been given my creativity back in this job. I get to come up with fun story ideas circulating around a topic I’m passionate about: travel. And while some days I wish I weren’t desk-bound, I remind myself on crappy weather days how I used to hate having to work outside in the elements. No more wearing 7 layers of clothing to prevent frostbite and struggling to hit the buttons on the camera with my semi-frozen hands. Or walking around in torrential downpours, frantically trying to keep my camera equipment dry. I’ve got a desk to call my own, which is strangely empowering considering how inconsequential it may seem to others. And with everything I may miss about my old job, there’s an equally long list of aspects I certainly do not. So I try to remind myself that I chose to redirect my career trajectory on purpose, and that that choice was the correct one. Will that change again? Possibly. And I think it’s my prerogative to do so as often as I want!

I’m happy here, more so now that I’ve had time to settle in, meet new people and have a routine. But I also think now that I’m finding London ‘home,’ it makes me feel nostalgic about what I’ve left behind. I’m sure all of this is normal, but for me, it’s the first time I’ve ever actually missed my hometown, so it’s a new emotion to face. And maybe, eventually, some of my friends from back home will be able to visit and bring a taste of the CLE with them. Until then, know I’m thinking about you all and miss you dearly! And London is still fabulous and exciting, but hasn’t changed my Northeast Ohio soul one bit. Cleveland strong, baby!

The ladder

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Life happens at its own pace. For many things, we can’t force them to hurry up or slow down at will. While I personally find it annoying because I have the patience of a two-year-old girl, I still find myself shrugging my shoulders reciting, “it is what it is,” on many occasions. Not necessarily because I want to, but because I know that I’ve done as much as I could’ve and the rest is up to the universe. (The universe and I have a very complicated love/hate relationship.)

Most people who know me know that since I started college in the fall of 2009, I had a plan. I knew what career I wanted and I knew where I wanted to move. Ohio was so far off my radar it was like the Bermuda Triangle had swallowed it up. All my life was spent working toward this one career goal. I climbed that metaphorical ladder rung by rung as I surpassed each step on my pre-career to-do list, but it was when I had to sit back and wait that tensions began to rise. I went from feeling like I was this high achieving, well seasoned, budding journalist waiting for my big break to completely questioning my skills and abilities within a six month time period. I graduated and didn’t have any job offers yet. I sat back for months watching classmates of mine accept positions in the media field that I felt better qualified for. I was angry. Why wasn’t anyone offering me jobs? I had awesome internships, I made good contacts, I was really good at what I could do. But for whatever reason, my resumé was overlooked and I sat around unemployed for months. Eventually, my loans slapped me in the face and demanded that I start forking over excruciatingly painful payments. I needed an income.

There I was, a college graduate with dreams of working alongside fellow journalists, applying for minimum wage jobs near my hometown. I was embarrassed and nursing an understandably crushed ego while working part time as a front desk associate at a hotel near my parent’s house. For awhile, I admit I had given up on myself and succumbed to the idea that I may never work in my professional field. I blamed the job market, technology, my location. I made crazy justifications for why I couldn’t seem to get an entry level job in journalism. I didn’t tell anyone about my work situation because I didn’t want to have to admit to anyone that I wasn’t where I should’ve been. I felt out of place at work. I knew I wasn’t supposed to be there, and I know all of my coworkers could tell I was aching to leave as well.

Eventually, I started getting phone calls and interviews for other jobs. I perked up quite a bit, but I kept quiet about my prospects because I didn’t want to make a huge thing out of an interview and then not receive a job offer afterward. I thought, “I really don’t need any other embarrassments right now.” After I went through my depressed stage, I started fighting really hard to get noticed for jobs. I was aggressively reaching out to hiring managers, asking other professionals for help or insight or advice and essentially jumping up and down, flailing my arms and yelling, “look at me, look at me!” But by January 2014, I had exhausted all of my ideas and started falling back into that “I-don’t-know-what-to-do-next” attitude. I had hundreds of applications floating around in cyberspace and all I could really do was wait. And feel worthless, of course. Waiting is always the hardest part.

Then one day while I was working, my phone rang. I had interviewed at this news station the previous October, but they didn’t have any job openings at the time and asked me to get back in touch in the new year. Of course, I never got in touch because I thought nothing would come of it anyway because it was a really big station that I didn’t feel I had a chance with (yeah, nice attitude!). But then they called me. Now, I’m proud to say that my first job in the media field is at a market 17 news station. I’m happy where I am and I finally feel like I fit in at work. Instead of trying to blend in with the walls, I want people to ask me about where I’m working. I want to be able to proudly say that, yeah, my first job took ages to materialize but now that I’m finally working, my job is way more impressive than your job! Of course, I’m not that rude, but it’s nice to know that it was never a matter of being unqualified or inept in my field. It just wasn’t my time yet and I had to wait for something amazing to come along.

So I learned a valuable lesson this past year. While it’s great to have goals, sometimes it’s unfair to place time limits on when you should achieve certain goals. Setting impossible expectations is quite literally setting yourself up for failure. You can’t control every aspect of your life. I told myself I needed to have a job in my field within a very short time after earning my degree, and when I didn’t meet my own expectations, it hurt. I sent myself into a spiral of second-guessing who I was and what I wanted to do, which ultimately forced the idea that I had already failed into my brain. Now I know that I didn’t fail – I didn’t do anything wrong. It just took time and patience and serious perseverance. I’m grateful that I had family and friends who continually cheered for me and kept pumping me up with positive affirmations and encouragement, reassuring me that I was good at what I did and that the perfect job would come along soon. It’s important to keep believing in ourselves too. Just because you may not be where you want to be doesn’t mean that you’ll never get there. Keep the faith and never give up. If you fall down and have to slum it for awhile, at least slum it with pride and the unquestionable knowledge that you’re making your way there, slowly but surely. And when you finally get past that hurdle, I hope you can look back like I have and say, yeah, I totally made it. I made it through that hard stuff and came out the other side stronger and more confident.

So please accept my heartfelt thanks to all of you who have always sent good vibes my way and helped keep my spirits up when I was feeling like a failure. Thank you to those who reached out a hand to help when I asked for advice or leads. Simply, thank you. It’s nice to know that there are people out there who genuinely hope I succeed and are willing to pipe in and whisper words of encouragement when they notice I’m faltering. People like you are the reason the world goes ’round, and you help make my life meaningful. Thank you so very much. I hope I do well at returning the favor.

Cheers!

New angles

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Rejection emails are the worst. Especially the vague, standard, sometimes automated emails that simply add to the suspicion that even if you are truly enthusiastic and well equipped for a job, you don’t matter unless you can prove it on paper. Passion is an asset that employers should seek out, but it appears that more and more companies have values elsewhere. I applied for an entry-level social media position at New York Habitat because I felt passionately about the work the company does, I knew it was a job I would enjoy and I wholeheartedly felt I possessed all of the qualities – both in my personality and my knowledge within the field of work – to perform well and quite frankly, make improvements. The millennial  generation is one that is not only eager to learn and make their mark in this world, but has also grown up learning to use improving technology to their advantage. Many current job listings in marketing, for example, are advertising positions that seek 5+ years experience in digital marketing when digital marketing only just became an effective form of marketing within the last few years. Therefore, how can companies use an experience level like this as a prerequisite when it’s literally impossible to possess? It makes more sense to hire some hot-shot recent graduate who has been effectively using digital marketing nonstop for the last few years, who is constantly looking for new ideas and better ways to make an impact because that’s exactly what they’ve known to do throughout their young lives. Or maybe I’m wrong. Maybe a middle-aged individual who learned marketing in the 80s deserves the position. I’m not saying recent graduates should always prevail when it comes to new hires, but in certain fields, it makes sense. What do you think?

I’ve read a whole bunch of articles and blogs that give advice to recent graduates about how to snag a job. I’ve read them, I’ve nodded and agreed that I possess the main qualities employers look for, and yet here I still sit– skimming through automated rejection emails with no way to find out why my application didn’t meet the company’s “needs.” As mentioned in my previous blog, I’m willing to do whatever it takes to show that I deserve a job in my field that I can enjoy. Within 24 hours of posting, “What works,” more than 240 individuals across the globe read my blog. Not only that, but people I don’t even know personally were sharing the link on social media, reaching out to the company I wanted to work for and telling them that I deserved an interview. Not only is that humbling, but the fact that these people were basing this belief merely on the fact that they could see my unique passion via blog post surely must mean a lot, right? So here’s my question: What am I doing wrong?

I’m aware that the job market sucks for recent graduates. Nevertheless, I don’t want to use this as an excuse for why I can’t seem to get a job doing something I’m qualified for and can honestly enjoy. If it’s something that is going to dominate the majority of our waking lives, we shouldn’t compromise for it. Simple as that.

Since my first unique attempt at getting an employer’s attention didn’t go to plan, I’m going to augment it a tad. So here is my open cover letter to any employer or recruiter looking for a new hire, or for any individual who wishes to aid in my job search. Feel free to share this blog with social media – Tweet, Facebook, share on LinkedIn or Google+, pin on Pintrest – whatever! Operation Find Tanya A Job has broadened its goal and I need YOUR help! Tell the world I want to work and that recent graduates deserve a fair shot! If you have any helpful advice or critiques, shoot me an email at tparker259@yahoo.com. Here’s what I’ve been up to for the last few years (TanyaParkerResumeOH), and here’s my no-nonsense general cover letter (TanyaParkerCL). Pass it on!

Social media sparks a revelation that we, the people, have a voice, and through the democratization of content and ideas we can once again unite around common passions, inspire movements, and ignite change.

What works.

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As a recent graduate, I’m no stranger to the job application process. It’s tedious, repetitive and increasingly less personal, what with most applications done electronically and sent through to a recruiting agency rather than a direct employer. Without impressive credentials, your application quickly falls to the wayside and the time you spent writing that job specific cover letter was wasted. I know the feeling well, but what can you do? Well, I’ve done everything from tweeting the company I applied to work for, stalking HR reps on LinkedIn and sending direct emails to whatever email address affiliated with the job posting I could find. It’s not easy to get noticed when technology sticks a wall in front of you, but we do the best we can. And since I’m not satisfied working a minimum wage part time job for the rest of my life, I’m going to try a brand new tactic– this blog post.I like to think that my résumé is impressive for a recent graduate. I’m not cocky, but I’ve been lucky enough to nab some exclusive and brag-worthy internships back to back, and my university exposed me to many more opportunities than some other schools could’ve done. I write, photograph, videotape, market, advertise– I’m a jack of all trades in the communications field, jumping up and down like a lunatic just trying to get noticed. And still, nothing. I bet there’s a group of recent graduates out there feeling the exact same way I am, AND eager to work! (What?!)

When looking for a job, it’s important to know what you can do, but also determine what kind of work you actually want to do. Before attending my university, I wanted to be a foreign correspondent. After spending four years reporting the news here, there and everywhere, I now know that’s not what I want to continue pursuing post graduation. People will constantly ask, “what do you want to do?” and it’s probably smart to have a precise answer for that question. I want to write, take photos and video and travel. I’ve hopped all over the United States since the day I was born, and the minute I saved up enough money, I was on the first plane to Europe, soaking up as much culture as possible. This is a lifestyle I love, so I know it’s what I want. However, as a recent grad, this sure comes as a tall order for a first job straight out of the gate, right? Well, maybe. If you’re capable of doing the job and doing it well and also have a willingness to learn, you’re just as qualified as Joe Schmo with five years under his belt. Entry level or not, if you think you have what it takes, go for it. Opportunity doesn’t wait for anyone.

Speaking of opportunity, let’s get back to the point of this post. This is entirely self serving, but I need your help to get me out of my minimum wage job and into a job that I’m better qualified for– and frankly, one I think I deserve at this point in my life. Since I feel I’m quickly exhausting/annoying my resources to gain attention, I’ve had to think outside of the box. I’m also banking this on the assumption that a couple of people actually read my blogs, are interested in me and what I have to say… and possibly want to help me get a job(?). I’ve found a few jobs I really dig, but I recently stumbled upon a position at New York Habitat,  an international real estate and travel agency, that sounds perfect. They’re looking for a social media and marketing assistant to essentially pitch in with their social media accounts and maintain engagement with followers through posts, optimization and blogging. Bottom line, I’m social media obsessed, I’m creating new blog sites every few months just for fun, I currently work in the hotel industry and I’ve got a serious case of wanderlust– sounds like this position was created FOR me, eh? But even if I feel that way, it doesn’t mean my application will be seen or considered under the piles of other applicants. So help a recent grad out and tweet, Facebook, comment on Tumblr or find a contact email address on New York Habitat’s website and tell them to give me a shot! I know it’s a bit bizarre and may not do a thing for me, but I’m not willing to give up until I’ve exhausted all options. All I can do is hope there are people out there who care enough to take a minute to help. We all have to start somewhere, right? So if you’re feeling generous, provide them with my email (tparker259@yahoo.com) or Twitter handle @_TanyaParker and maybe then I’ll get noticed. In fact, if you know of any other jobs that sound similar or may interest me, let’s have a chat. I’m more than willing to return the favor since I’m painfully aware of how this stage in life feels. Let’s give the recent grads a fighting chance!

Trying and not succeeding is not failure; it’s part of the process of discovering what works.