No kidding

“If you’re feeling blue, try painting yourself a different color.”

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As a young adult, the majority of my life has been spent dragging my feet through school hallways and spilling coffee on my clean clothes. In hindsight and after reading many articles on the subject, I probably shouldn’t have started drinking coffee at age 5, but too late to worry about that now. In any case, even though I’ve spent so much time in classrooms, most of my learning experiences happened outside those walls and from nonprofessionals. Honestly, a lot of what I’ve learned came from listening to and spending time with kids. What made me realize this? Well, I was sitting here thinking, “Gosh, I really want a glass of champagne, but I don’t have a reason to celebrate and maybe I really shouldn’t.” And after I thought about it, I changed my mind and decided isn’t being alive a good enough reason to celebrate? A kid wouldn’t ask, “should I eat this mud pie?” A kid would simply do it. I may have grown up and I’m much more capable of grasping the concept of potential consequences, but I don’t want it to stifle my freedom. So then this got the gears turning and now I’m thinking about all the things little munchkins have taught me and why they’re valuable lessons.

As a young female, vanity has always been a (sometimes unwelcome) concern in my life. I’ll check my outfit in the mirror several times before leaving the house, and sometimes I’ll even head out feeling like even after spending two hours getting ready, I still could look better. I obsess over the clearness of my skin and cover “blemishes” with as much caked on make-up as possible. I dye my hair to cover premature grays, I try to buy trendy clothes and accessories, I primp constantly. I put so much effort into looking seemingly suitable for public eyes, and then I spend less than five minutes with a sloppy, messy, carefree little girl and suddenly she has me questioning every minute effort. She’s wearing multi-colored, striped cotton leggings, a bright pink t-shirt with a daisy on it and lime green Crocs. Not to mention her hair is all kinds of crazy and her hands are far from clean. But the only time this little one looks in the mirror is to check my face painting handiwork before proceeding to jump up in down in utter glee. If only we could gather up this loosey-goosey, untroubled childhood attitude and keep it with us as we grow older.

When you ask a child, “why are you doing that?” it isn’t uncommon for his or her response to be, “because it’s fun!” If you asked me why I’m applying for jobs, I would most certainly say because I need to not because it’s fun. Why don’t we do more things just because we enjoy them? As adults, we find plenty of excuses and reasons why we are no longer able to do something we once enjoyed. Money is tight, time is limited, getting too old – so many tired, worn out excuses that get way too much screen time. “Katie, why are you pouring glue in your hands?” Because it’s fun to peel off the dried glue, duh! “Riley, why are you acting like a puppy?” Because it’s fun to pretend! We should do what we want even if it has no value other than pure, uninhibited enjoyment.

And what’s more is that children are unafraid to openly express their emotions. If they miss their mommy and daddy, they’ll cry and screech and yell it at the top of their lungs without fear of embarrassment. If they missed you, they’ll come storming down the road to meet you the second you come around the bend, happily screaming your name, take a running leap and land in your arms. If you hurt their feelings when you call them a dodo bird poopy brain, they have no problem telling you straight to your face. If they have to go potty and you tell them to wait a few minutes, they’ll pull on your sleeve and make demands until you attend to their needs. We grownups tend to mask our feelings or hide them and sometimes we aren’t fully honest when we should be. Leah has no problem telling me that I need to hit the gym, but some of my best girlfriends wouldn’t dare even hint at it! If I tell Noelle I’m sad today, she’ll tell me to stop being sad and just be happy. The point is, kids tell you how it is (at least in their own eyes) and it’s refreshing. Why hold back?

And finally, one of my favorite things I’ve learned from kids is how to turn mundane tasks into a game. Picking up toys can turn into a fun basketball game as you chuck each one into the toy box. The rewards system is highly effective as a kid and an adult too. Finish this blog before midnight and I can have a second glass of champagne! Pick up all the crayons and you can have a piece of candy! Life doesn’t have to be boring if we can find ways to make it fun. Disappointments just give us a reason to look forward to improvements. Success is so sweet because we know it took us a few oopsies to get there. Just because we grow up doesn’t mean we should lose our innocent excitement; it doesn’t mean we should stop thinking the word poop is funny; it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t eat milk and cookies until our bellies ache; it doesn’t mean we should grow up and forget to live. Life is still exciting and new each day and I think it would do us all some good if we acknowledged and accepted our inner child- sticky hands, smelly feet, silliness and all.

Breaking bread

moneyMoney. At this point, I wanted to say “mo’ money, mo’ problems,” but that’s not necessarily true 100 percent of the time, is it? In actuality, there will always be some kind of problem discussing money as a whole, whether it be money in excess or lack thereof. I pity people who have allowed money to make them bitter in one way or another. I’ve met people who are angry with others who have lots of money. They feel these people aren’t using their financial status “properly,” or they did not honestly earn the money they possess. I have met people who are angry with the poor because their lack of money may force them to rely on government aid or they feel they aren’t contributing enough to society. So it seems that no matter how much or how little someone has, someone else is going to resent them for it whether their reasoning is legitimate or not. But what I fail to understand is… why?

I have no money to my name. Well, I certainly have some saved up, but the amount I owe in college loans sort of cancels out what little I do happen to have floating around my bank account. I owe money to the government. I owe money to private companies. I currently do not have an income, thus no way to repay my outstanding loans. In laymen’s terms, I’m a broke college graduate lazing about my parent’s house. Although there are many times when my financial status seriously affects my mood and psyche, I know that my bank account does not and will not ever define me as a person. Yes, life would be easier if I had more to my name for various reasons, but I believe that my value is not tied to how much money I have. I think a lot of people seem to forget this and instantly judge someone’s character, intelligence or work ethic based on their economic standing in society. On the flip side, growing up in a wealthy family who is willing and glad to help financially should not immediately mean that you are “entitled” or “spoiled.” Honestly, I truly dislike the negative connotation that the word, “entitled,” has. The word itself means you have a RIGHT to have, which certainly shouldn’t sound like a bad thing. Helping within the family shouldn’t be looked down on, should it? My brother has a job and sometimes he gives me gas money. Should I be ashamed? Am I entitled? I don’t feel that way. I do not resent others who have more money than I do, nor do I resent them for receiving trust fund money or inheriting a fortune through other ways. I can’t dislike them because I don’t know them personally. Sure, I’ll have my moments of jealousy just like anyone else, and it’s possible that some people with money may not deserve it. But again, who am I to say that for certain?

I understand how individual wealth plays a role in the economy. I can understand why people use so much energy arguing over it. The part I struggle with is why complain if you, yourself, can’t or won’t do anything to make the situation better? There are always exceptions – the poor who is intentionally poor simply to take advantage, the rich who is intentionally lazy and fruitless simply because they can afford to be – but the exception isn’t the only type of person. Wealth has always been something that has divided people even before money as currency was part of the picture. I believe that even if wealth were distributed evenly, people would still find ways to divide.

Nevertheless, I’m all for healthy debate and conversation as long as it does not become personal. If we constantly took offense based on others’ differences or discrepancies, we would live a very lonely life. And I think the golden rule here is if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. See, preschool taught us something valuable and it doesn’t cost a cent!

On the road to understanding

I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list.Image

 

I flip through my used, worn out copy of Jack Kerouac’s, “On the Road,” and find myself comparing then and now. Not necessarily the economy, living standards or general way of life, but more like the attitudes of the individuals in the book and the way they demand adventure. Why don’t people think like Dean anymore? Why don’t we live spontaneously? In a simpler form, why don’t we do exactly what we want? 

Obviously, there are struggles in life – obstacles, nay-sayers, reality – but there are small, easy ways to better ourselves and enjoy our time on this planet. For instance, why not book a flight to India for a week? If money weren’t an obstacle, would you? I worry that many people nowadays are too comfortable where they are, and when this happens, we can’t grow. The most understanding and open-minded individuals I have ever met have a hefty traveling resumé. They’ve explored and immersed themselves in a location or culture unlike their own for no other reason but to learn from it. I truly believe the best way to understand another person is to learn about their lifestyle, culture, religion, environment or language. We all have deep roots that extend well into these facets of our lives, and if we start to understand where these roots come from and why, then we can only grow in understanding. Does that make sense? Our beliefs and opinions are not just created out of thin air, so we should work to figure out what has aided in forming them. Don’t just read a book to learn – take yourself there! 

If you want to go, that should be reason enough. The tickets may be expensive, but the experience is sure to be priceless. In any case, there are ways to save if it’s an adventurous learning experience you’re after! 

Through my travels, I’ve nixed the idea of hotel stays for the most part because I prefer not to pay out the nose! However, many Americans hear the word, “hostel,” and immediately picture a dirty, unsafe, sketchy room shared by 20 other random foreign people. Let me destroy that stereotype right now! If you’re planning a trip and want to book a place to stay the night, you need to check out Hostels.com. I’ve used this site a bunch, and it’s so simple! You control exactly the kind of place you want to stay. Determine how much you’re willing to spend, what area you want to be in, what amenities you prefer and more! The reviews and ratings make it easy to find out if the hostel is legitimate and safe too, which has all too often saved my skin as I’ve hopped across the globe. I know this sounds like a shameless plug for the site, but I wouldn’t encourage it if I hadn’t found such success myself! And come on, doesn’t £20 sound much better than £150 for a night’s stay in London? So you can sort of live like Dean Moriarty hopping from bed to bed, but in a much safer way.

And what about meals and activities? I relied heavily on Groupon and LivingSocial if I ever found myself in high tourist areas. These babies got me meal deals I shared with friends and tickets to events, shows and other adventures that saved me a pretty penny. It also doesn’t hurt to hit up the local market and buy meal staples to make your own sandwiches or have snacks to munch whenever your tummy growls and your pockets ache. I took a trip down to the beaches of Southern Spain for a few days and only spent money in a restaurant once! For everything else, I bought food at the market and cooked it myself in the kitchen at my hostel. Gave me an opportunity to mingle with other hostel goers too! 

If these little money saving tips can’t convince you to hop on a plane, train or car to go exploring, then check out TripAdvisor.com to hear from other expert travelers and get more advice and tips. I’ve asked a few questions on the site myself and gotten some very helpful responses in return.

My point is if you want to understand others with a diverse background, the most fulfilling way to do that is to envelope yourself in their environment and culture. You’ll learn so much so quickly, and you’ll find your entire outlook on life can change with just one trip. And if you disagree, it’s probably because you haven’t ventured outside of your comfort zone. 

Come on, we modern day Dean Moriartys are waiting for ya!